Sometimes, the universe is trying to tell you something. Sometimes, you have to listen very closely to hear it. Sometimes, it smacks you in the face.
This morning, as I got the boys off to school and prepared for my day, I had the TV on. I never have the TV on. Really — Never. It was tuned to Good Morning America and, while I was mostly ignoring it, my attention was grabbed when I heard Michael Strahan introduce a mommy blogger. Intrigued — and frankly, a bit envious. How can I get on GMA as a mommy blogger? — I stopped to watch. Ilana Wiles was talking about her new book and how she is embracing being just an average mom with an average life. No labels, no judgement, no Pintrest-worthy family photos, crafts or meals. Mediocrity at its best and not feeling bad about it. Her trick is to maintain a selective memory, i.e., choosing to remember the positive and letting all the other crap fade away. I feel ‘ya, sister! I say it all the time to my girlfriends and I write about it in this blog, but I don’t always live it. I compare, I judge, I complain, I bitch. All too often, I focus on the negative instead of the positive.
Later in the day, I had a scheduled phone consultation with a holistic health and wellness coach. She asked about my concerns, my goals and what’s holding me back … Um, where do I start? We only have an hour, right? So we talked about my autoimmune condition and my related food needs, my workout routines and writing schedule, my daily challenges and current coping mechanisms. I told her how I start my day with a few yoga stretches and mindful meditation, but that zen feeling is gone as soon as the kids are up — Then it just snowballs from there. When I confessed that I often feel burdened and overwhelmed, I was forced to face a few self-truths that I’m not especially proud of. Like my unusually high standards for both myself and my family. Add in the guilt I have for feeling unsatisfied, resentful or ungrateful at times, and it’s not a pretty picture. Her advice was to release the guilt by changing my language and cutting myself some slack. I need to practice using kinder, more positive words to frame my world so that I can begin to change my mindset. Once I do that, I’ll feel the shift.
Wow! It sounds corny, but when I hung up the phone, I felt lighter. More at peace. It was as if I was finally given permission to be nicer to myself.
The universe was sending me a message today and I heard it, loud and clear. Hopefully, I remember to listen tomorrow.